A Dialogue with Guru

No, this has nothing to do with the excellent book, “Dialogues with the Guru” featuring an earlier Sringeri Swamiji’s interviews with a host of truth-seekers.

This is just a mundane dialogue with my Editing professor at the Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan, as he returns to his office room after the Journalism class. He was a stickler for brevity, and the right word at the right place. “He talks editing, walks editing…,” to rephrase Amitabh Bachchan’s famous words in Namak Halal. He was a respectable figure. Few dared to get close to him, and the rare ones who did, never repeated it.

Excuse me, sir, I was wondering…

Don’t wonder. Just say what you want, Mister.

Okay, sir.

It is not okay. That is why I corrected you. Yes what do you want?

Sir, I was thinking…

Stop thinking; come to the point straightaway. In editing that is what you must remember. Edit your expressions as you utter them. As a budding journalist you cannot afford the l uxury of wordiness.

In fact I wanted to…

See, here again you start with ‘in fact’. It should be introduced after you have said something. Also, a fact can have the full impact of  ‘in fact’ evening without adding it. Do you get it?

I think so, sir.

Now don’t dwell on doubt. If you don’t understand, and pretend you understand, you will not understand what little you understand. Understand?

Fine.

No not fine. Instead you should have said, ‘Thank you”. As a courtesy if you added “Sir”, nothing would have gone amiss. I am not particular, but it helps you to adhere to some principles.

Thank you, sir.

Yes, what did you want to say, with the preface hopefully over now? You have been beating around the bush for quite a while.

Sir, the thing is this.

Wait a minute. Don’t use that expression again. It is a transliteration of the Hindi expression, “Baat yeh hai.” Think in English and talk in English. This applies to any language. The idea and garb should be woven closely. Please proceed.

Sir, I was wondering…sorry… I came to ask you if I could have an interview with you to publish in the Alpha journal?

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

No, nothing sir. I just came to ask you, “How are you”?

I am fine. You could have asked me that in the first instance, and we could have parted. Anyway, anything else?

Nothing sir. Thank you.

Now, what did you say your name is?

I have not said sir.

Okay, can you?

Yes sir.

Can you, I repeat?

Yes I can sir.

Then why don’t you?

You have not asked me yet, sir?

Oh my God. What’s your name?

Sundaram.

Okay, Mr Subramaniam

No sir, not Subramaniam… Sundaram.

Okay, whatever it is.

No sir, it is Sundaram, and has to be so.

All right, Mr SUNDARAM, is that fine? I can understand your anxiety to see your name in print in our Alpha Journal through an interview. But before that, can you recollect the answer you wrote to my question, “How do you prepare a copy?” (How do you go about reporting a news-item?) Instead of highlighting the essential elements, What, Where, When, Who, How, Why, as is expected of a post-graduate journalism student, I distinctly remember what answer you gave. The less said the better. So concentrate on your syllabus first. Clear? Anything else?

No, nothing. Thank you sir.

(A fan of P.G. Wodehouse, I had always wanted to recreate a scene similar to the dialogue between the domineering Bertie Wooster, the lord of the house, and the down-to-earth Jeeves, his butler. The dialogue part thus is totally a figment of my imagination. Everything else is factual. The professor was also the Managing Editor of Alpha Journal. So I gave him this imaginary interview piece with little hope that he would like himself to be projected in that light. Yes, he approved it for publication. Year 1981.)

V.V. Sundaram

19 January 2012