(Names changed)
The venue is a local park , and the time from 6 to 7 pm. The agenda covers anything under the sun, but mostly revolves around: to be or not to be (a permanent US resident). The meeting is held from Monday to Thursday. (We skip Friday to Sunday evenings just to stay on call to accompany our sons/daughters on a social visit, shopping, or an eat-out session at short notice.)
The age group of participants is 60-74, and consists of plain and simple visitors; those undecided on green card: others who have filed their papers, and naturalized citizens.
My wife and I are proactive when it comes to human relations. We do not believe in never speak unless spoken to. We reach out to people assuming they are equally eager but are hesitant to make the first move. So we greet them with a smile during the rounds of walk. In most cases the response is instantaneous.
I greeted a Sikh gentleman, “Sat Sri Akal,” during one of the rounds. He was so overwhelming that I feared I was in for a WWF embrace from the well-built 6’3”, and would get shrunk in the process. Fortunately I got away with a lighter one. He took my hand with both his hands and shook with more vigor and vitality than I could take. With my hand still inextricably interlocked into his hands, he led us to his wife who had completed her rounds and was resting on the cement bench. They introduced themselves as Mr and Mrs Harcharan Singh from Punjab.
“So, since how long have you been in the US?” we asked them to get a conversation started. “This is our 42nd day and, our first and last visit to US,” said the 70-year old, already in a countdown mode. He soon amended it, not to sound critical, “No doubt, everything here is so organized, all facilities are available, no power cut, no water problem; one can buy everything under one roof. But the problem is we have to depend on our son and daughter in law for everything. And, above all, at this point it is difficult to change the lifestyle we are used to in India.” It reminded me of the words of Brutus in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar: “Not that I love Caesar less, but that I love Rome more,”
Seeing the four of us engrossed in a conversation, a lady in her mid-sixties and her daughter felt eager to join us. They changed their outer circle route to the inner one to be sure to pass by our cement bench and get noticed. We greeted only to see them having already squeezed themselves. That got Harcharan and me, at the two edges of the bench, preoccupied with a balancing act to stay seated more than participating in the proceedings thereafter. This is the Kashyap family, from Delhi.
Mrs Vimla Kashyap’s son and daughter in law are in US for some years. Her daughter has work permit and is in US for the past four months. The mother has accompanied her daughter. In fact she is on a reconnaissance visit to decide whether she should shift here permanently or to stay alone in Delhi. (She lost her husband a few years ago.) The introductory interaction leaned heavily on her following the footsteps of the Harcharans.
Soon Jagir Singh and his wife joined us. They have been here for over a decade and have acquired US citizenship. His son is an engineer, daughter and daughter in law are doctors, and son in law an attorney. Jagir Singh is a safe bet for seeking advise on immigration, buying or renting a house, road maps, medicaments for common ailments, both modern and home remedies. Personally I would call him a walking encyclopedia, though the group calls him reverentially ‘Guru-ji’.
The next to be in our group are the Reddys from Andhra Pradesh. “Two more months,” they responded when asked since how long had they been here. Apparently another ‘countdown’ case, we said to ourselves. They have their priorities in place. They are looking for a suitable bride for their younger son in India. The marriage season starts in July. So they would like to rush to India by then, take up the short-listed cases and solemnize the marriage. While in US they are helping their elder son to buy a house in a good school district so that their grand daughter, now 15 months, can be going to a good public school. Meanwhile their welfare activities go unabated. They donated recently a big bagful of rice and some other items to Sri Satya Sai Baba centre for feeding the poor. They participated the other day in preparing huge quantities of sandwiches for a similar cause. They have been doing this in India.
They shared with us their personal experiences. On one occasion Baba materialized a gold ring for him and later a necklace for the lady. On the other, Baba unleashed to them, on his own volition, the girls they had mentally shortlisted for their elder son and advised them to select the Hyderabad girl though the Guntur girl, their first choice, was also good. Later, the Reddys introduced to the group their charming daughter in law, the girl Baba had recommended.
The group has so far had nearly thirty sessions. Mr Jagir Singh took in his car one batch from the group to the San Jose Gurdwara temple. He will take the rest in the next round. Meanwhile he is organizing a day-long picnic, which would mean a ride in the bus, Cal train, boat, and visiting several places of interest.
Mr and Mrs Haracharan Singh have returned to India since, but not before confessing to us their changed plans - to visit US again definitely. Mrs Vimla is all set to obtain driver’s license and is enlisting as a member of the local Library, probably a precursor to her long-term plans. The Reddys are finalizing the flowers, which on their next visit to US, they would like blossomed in the front and backyards of their son’s house to be acquired soon. And, not to be left out, my wife and I have finally decided and submitted papers for a green card.
Posted on 29 October 2010
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